Easy sponge painted eggs

I will be trying out this method over the weekend. It looks like something that smaller children would be able to do as well. Enjoy!

Easy sponge painted eggs
By: Amanda Formaro

Difficulty: Very Easy

Age: 7 and up

Average User Rating:

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Looking for something different this Easter? Try sponge painting! You can get creative with different colors and designs.



What you'll need:
Hard boiled eggs
Acrylic craft paints in the colors of your choice
Household sponge
Paper towel
Small bowl of water
Egg holder or empty egg carton
How to make it:
Soak a household sponge in water, then ring it out completely. Cut the sponge into several different pieces, enough so that you have one for each color.
Using a paper plate as a palette, squeeze out small amounts of several different colors of paint.
Place an empty egg carton upside down so that you can rest your eggs on it to dry once painted.
Hold an egg in your fingers, and with your other hand, dab a sponge into desired paint color.
Dab the sponge onto a piece of paper towel. The object is to remove the excess paint, but not completely dry it out.
Now dab the sponge directly onto your egg, using any type of random pattern you like. Paint as much of the egg as you can and place it down to dry.
Repeat steps four to six for each egg, using different colors.
For a colored background with white sponge marks, simply paint the egg a solid color with a paint brush or with one of your sponges. When dry, sponge on a pattern with white paint.
When one side has dried, complete the other side and allow that to dry as well.
Place eggs into an egg holder, or fill a bowl with Easter grass and arrange the eggs atop the grass.
Tips:

To make pastel paints from primary colors, simply add enough white paint until you have reached the shade you want.
Use a pair of scissors to round the edge of the sponges. Square edge can make your design look choppy, whereas a rounded edge looks softer.
Instead of painting the eggs a solid color, you can always dye them with traditional methods, then sponge paint them with white. This is an easy alternative if you don’t have several different paint colors on hand.
Get creative! Make different shapes by cutting hearts or letters from the sponges. Dollar stores will sometimes have shaped sponges in the kid’s bath section.
When boiling eggs, start the flame at medium high rather than on high. You will have less cracked eggs this way as they are not bouncing around in the pot as they would at a fast rolling boil.

via: http://crafts.kaboose.com/easter-sponge-painted-eggs.html

Party Carrots

Oh what an adorable idea! We will absolutely do this at our house this easter. Very creative...I love it!

Make one of these carrots for each party guest, then display them in a big bunny-tempting pile on the brunch table. CRAFT MATERIALS:
Orange paper napkins, dinner size
Green plastic utensils
Green pipe cleaners

Time needed: Under 1 Hour
1. For each carrot, fold one of the paper napkins into a rectangle. Place a set of utensils across the lower left corner of the rectangle, fold in the lower right corner as shown, then roll it up loosely.

2. Wrap one or two green pipe cleaners around the napkin and necks of the utensils, then twist them to secure, as shown.

3. Trim the pipe cleaners a bit, if desired, so they look like leafy carrot tops.

Tips:
Be sure to check out The Great Easter Egg Hunt for more great Easter ideas.

via: http://jas.familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts?page=CraftDisplay&craftid=11412

Easter Egg Ideas by the Dozen: Masked Designs

Here are great ideas to enjoy with kids that are a little bit older.
Have fun!

Adhere common supplies such as tape, stickers, or even little leaves to eggs; when you dye the eggs and remove the "masks," the designs stand out. There are lots of ways to vary this technique to create original eggs.

Design Possibilities
To make a plaid egg using masking tape, start with a white or brown egg, or dye one a light hue. Wrap 1/4-inch masking tape lengthwise around the egg for stripes; rub the tape at the edges with your fingernail for a good seal, so dye can't seep underneath. Dye egg to desired color. Blot with a paper towel. Let dry 10 minutes. Make stripes around the egg crosswise using 1/8-inch masking tape. Rub down tape; dye in a darker color, and dry as before. Remove tape. For other design options, use rubber bands or small stickers (such as dots, stars, and ring-shaped paper reinforcers, available at office-supply stores; big stickers won't lie flat on the rounded surfaces of an egg).

Botanical Eggs
Grace eggs with the delicate shapes of greenery. You'll need an egg white, small leaves or sprigs such as those from various herbs, a tiny paintbrush, a nylon stocking, string, dye, and paper towels. Apply egg white to the back of a leaf with the paintbrush, place the leaf on an egg, and press gently with fingers. Cut stocking into 4-inch squares. Lay egg in center of square and pull nylon around it, stretching it taut; tie with string. Submerge egg in dye for 5 to 10 minutes. Remove egg, and blot with a paper towel. Snip string, and unwrap nylon stocking to check color. If egg isn't the desired hue, retie, and dye again. When the desired color is achieved, remove nylon; peel away leaf carefully. Blot with a paper towel, then dry egg on paper towels for 10 minutes, leaf side facing up.

Return to Easter Eggs by the Dozen.

When you finish making these egg projects, don't forget to rate or comment to let others know what you thought of the craft. Then, share your completed crafts with the group by posting a picture of your finished project on our message boards.

via: http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.3a0656639de62ad593598e10d373a0a0/?vgnextoid=f2e3f1355daf4110VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&vgnextchannel=d14dab78367ee010VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&rsc=collage_crafts_egg-decorating_p1&lnc=d14dab78367ee010VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD

Nadine wants to know

written by Nadine Clifton

I have added a new section to The Parent Lab. Every week you will find a "Nadine wants to know" article here, in which I share a question with you and would love some feedback!
I think it can be very inspiring to hear how other Parents and Caregivers handle situations that we all encounter with our children.
Today I would like to touch the subject of TV.
We currently have a poll going that I want to include in this conversation, so don't forget to vote.
The majority of you let their children watch between 1 and 3 hours of TV a day.
I have covered my opinion in the September article: "The controversy of Television"
Since I have written that article a couple of things have changed in our house.
It has now become media time, not TV-time anymore. My son can decide what he wants to use his one hour on. He can either watch TV, or play games on the Computer, or play Nintendo, or play Wii...you get the idea.
I have divided the one hour into three 20 minute periods. That way it is not used up all at once.
Now I want to know from you:
How do you handle your children's requests for TV and Video games and so on?
Do you limit only TV or other Media as well?
How Do you decide what your Child may or may not watch or play?
Do you feel that the whole fuss over too much TV being bad for your child is overrated?

I can't wait to find out what you have to say on the subject! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and is enjoying Monday as much as possible ;)!

Egg Garden

How excited your children will be when they make these beautiful table decorations and see them on the table on Easter morning. Have fun!


Turn your Easter eggs into a blooming centerpiece for the table with these flowering pedestals. CRAFT MATERIALS:
Craft foam in green and other colors
Cardboard tube
Scissors
Masking tape
Eggs (real or plastic)
Sandwich bag
Uncooked rice or beans

Time needed: About 1 to 2 Hours
1. Cut a pair of petal patterns from craft foam (or download our templates). For the center hole, trace the end of a cardboard tube, then cut out the circle.

2. To make the stem, glue a piece of green craft foam around the cardboard tube, using masking tape to secure it until the glue dries.

3. Push the foam-covered stem through the holes in the foam petals and set an egg in place for the flower center. For added stability, place a sealed sandwich bag of uncooked rice or beans inside the stem to anchor it.

via:http://jas.familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts?page=CraftDisplay&craftid=11710

Trick your Tongue

Hey, do you have a bit of a longer car ride planned for this weekend? Do your kids look a little bored today? Why not try this to pass the time a little faster?
Sounds like fun to me ;)



Trick Your Tongue

Looking for something fun to do?
Here are some clever ideas to
keep your tongues busy!

What You Will Need:
Your Tongue!
A Sense of Humor

What You Do:
Say the alphabet, out loud, slowly. Feel how your tongue and your lips move as you say each letter.
Now, keep your tongue up against the roof of your mouth and say the alphabet again. What letters were hard to say? Are there any letters you couldn't say at all? Can you say your name this way?
Now keep your tongue down at the bottom of your mouth and say the alphabet again. Were there different letters that were hard to say? Could you say your name?

The Science: When you talk, your mouth, lips, and tongue all work together to make one sound right after another, so you can say words and sentences.

Tongue Twisters Tongue Twisters are groups of words with sounds that are hard to say together. Try saying these tongue twisters out loud. They may look simple, but can you say them 5 times as fast as you can?


Toy boat
Selfish shellfish
Mixed biscuits
Red leather, yellow leather
Greek grapes
Unique New York
Knapsack Straps
Black bug's blood
Shredded Swiss cheese


Ready for more of a challenge? Try these...


Which is the witch that wished the wicked wish?
Pass the plain pliable painted paper plate, please.
A bloke's bike's back brake block broke.
Shave a cedar shingle thin.
Does the wristwatch shop shut soon?
"Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop", said the shiny sign.
Sam's shop stocks short spotted socks.
The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.*


*According to the Guinness Book of World Records, this is the hardest tongue twister in the English language!



Did You Know...

Speech therapists have used tongue twisters to improve people's pronunciation. By giving you a difficult series of sounds, tongue twisters make you aware of how you move your mouth to make sounds.

Can you come up with your own tongue twisters?

Have fun!!!

via: http://www.escapadedirect.com/tryoto.html

Picking a Preschool

I am currently trying to decide what kind of Preschool would fit my son's need best. This article has definitely helped me to make a better decision. I thought I would share it with you for those who are going through the same thing.
Good Luck and let me know what is important to you when it comes to picking a good Preschool.





February 11, 2008
Picking a preschool
Filed under: Preschool — Tags: choosing a school, montessori, Parenting, Preschool, waldorf — admin @ 7:16 am
Jennifer Merritt

Perhaps it’s no coincidence that the presidential primaries fall in the same months as preschool open houses. When you think about it, the scenarios aren’t all that different: in one corner, you have the candidates competing over your vote; in the other, preschool directors vying for the chance to aid in molding your child. The choice isn’t always an easy one, and while we can’t help you choose between Barack, Clinton, Huckabee and McCain, we can assist you in picking the right preschool.

Before you even pick up the phone to start making appointments, the first step is to write an essay about your child’s personality and her likes and dislikes, says Lonna Corder, director of The Playgroup and of the San Francisco-based Montessori pre-school run in the home of philanthropist Ann Getty, as well as a parenting-consultant owner of Lonna’s Individual Parenting Plan. To do this, “watch and listen to your child,” Corder advises, noting that writing down your child’s personality traits will help you determine his or her preferred method of learning. “If your child spends all day doing dramatic play, you need a cognitive play-based school,” Corder says. “If your child likes to count blocks, he might be a fit for a Montessori school.”

Though there are scores of methods for teaching pre-schoolers, the most common categories you’ll hear about are play-based, Montessori and Waldorf. Play-based schools are the most common, where a child’s day is mostly filled with free play; the thought being that such a structure allows children to develop cognitive, social, emotional and physical skills. Montessori schools focus on self-directed learning, while the Waldorf method promotes learning through practical activities.

The A, B, C’s of choosing curricula
No matter which method you opt for, the critical factor is that the school provides a coherent and flexible curriculum. “The curriculum should guide, but not dictate, the teacher,” explains Dr. Ellen Frede, co-director of the National Institute for Early Education Research, which lists suggestions of 10 things parents should look for in a preschool on its web site. “For example, so many curricula have a theme during one particular month about family. If during that lesson the kids become fascinated by what jobs parents have, but the teacher steers away from that because that’s not in the curriculum until spring, well, that doesn’t make any sense. It should follow what the kids are interested in.”

The best way to get a feel for the curriculum is for you and your child to spend at least two hours in the classroom with the teacher he would be placed with, says Dr. Frede. “Your child is going to spend lots and lots of time there, so any program that won’t let you do it, you shouldn’t go to,” she says. “Parents go on much longer visits for college — do you think a 3 or 4 year old can tell you what’s happening at a school when you’re not there?”

Preschool for parents
In addition to your child’s needs, you also must pay attention to what you’re looking for in a preschool. One important question to ask is how the school disciplines children. If the school advocates timeouts and you’ve banned them at home, the school won’t be a good fit for your child or you. “You need to ask yourself if your parenting needs are in line with the school,” says Tammy Gold, a New Jersey-based psychotherapist, certified life coach, certified parent coach and founder of Gold Parent Coaching. “You don’t want the school to undo all the work you’ve done at home.”

Other questions Gold recommends asking are whether you can drop off and pick up your child at any time of the day. If you work late, will the center be able to accommodate you? Another important consideration is how involved parents are expected to be in the program. “If you’re a working mother and are going to be disappointed because you can’t make reading day each week at 3 p.m., then that school is not right for you,” Gold says. “Beyond the approaches, you have to be comfortable there. If you’re not, your child will feel that.”

Trust your intuition
Most important however, is for parents to remember that “there is no definitive book on this,” says Corder. “If you have a gut reaction about a place — good or bad — listen to that.”

Also tune out the competitive nature of some parents, just as you ignore the political mudslinging in the presidential primaries. “Nursery school is not going to make or break your child—it simply provides what being at home can’t: socialization,” Gold says. When she encounters parents panicking about preschool, she asks, “Do you have cold hard facts that this school is best for your child or is better than the one down the street? Do you remember what your nursery school was like? Probably not.”

Finally, Dr. Frede suggests putting yourself in your child’s small shoes. “Ask yourself, ‘Would I want to spend eight hours a day here?’”

Six Question Suggestions:

How often will I hear from the teacher?
Can I come by when I want?
If my child isn’t getting along with another child, will you let me know that?
Do you monitor your program’s quality each year?
On average, what do your head teachers and assistant teachers make?
What are your policies on sick and vacation leave for teachers?

via:http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/02/11/picking-a-preschool/

Shaving Cream Art

Oh I love this idea! I am going to try it with my son this afternoon! It sounds like grownups might just enjoy this as well. Have Fun!



Easy Art Projects for Young Children

Shaving Cream Art - ages 4+
This project is good clean fun! perfect for a preschool classroom or daycare.
All you need is a can of shaving cream, vinyl table cloth
or a plastic placemat and children who love to create!
Cover kitchen table or place your children at a kitchen counter. Give the children a mound of shaving cream.
I recommend sensitive skin formula. Finger-paint, draw, write.
They'll know what to do. Clean up is easy !
If you think your child will eat the shaving cream or rub it in their eyes you may want to try pudding -- sticky but fun

via: http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/artshavingcream.htm

Does my Child have ADD/ADHD

For many Parents and Caregivers ADD/ADHD has become a familiar term. It is very common and many children struggle with it. On the other hand if you have a hyperactive child don't make the quick assumption that it might be ADD/ADHD. It is very important to have a professional diagnose your child properly. This page offers a test through which you can determine if ADD/ADHD might be affecting your child.
You should still seek a professional diagnosis!
Good Luck




Inattentive. Hyperactive. Impulsive. All kids exhibit these traits at some stage, but if your child's behavior has become cause for concern, find out if attention deficit hyperactivity disorder might be the cause.

The list of symptoms in the assessment below has been adapted from the Vanderbilt Assessment Scale. It was designed to help clinicians gather information from parents and teachers -- information about childhood behavior that would help them diagnose ADHD. This scale, part of the ADHD Toolkit developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, is used by many doctors and some school districts.

Rate your child's symptoms. The first nine represent inattentive behaviors. The second nine represent hyperactive and impulsive behaviors. The eight items in the final category represent performance. Because children with ADHD usually have problems in more than one place, when you consider this category, you should think about the places where your child needs to function -- like home, school and the playground. The behaviors you rate should have been present for more than six months, and they should have started before the age of seven. Each rating should be considered in the context of what is appropriate for the age of your child.

via: http://parenting.ivillage.com/gs/gslearning/gsadhd/adhdintro

Gelatin Oranges

Do you have a Play date at your house? Meeting other moms at the park? This is the perfect afternoon treat! I would most definitely put the fruit pieces in with the Gelatin, that way you don't only serve a fun but also a beneficial snack!

Gelatin Oranges

This gelatin snack is a fun and creative way to sneak fruit into your child's diet. Even picky eaters will gobble them up!

And be sure to check out our other fun ideas for kid concoctions. RECIPE INGREDIENTS:
Oranges
Orange gelatin
Water
1. Cut the oranges in half from top to bottom and spoon the fruit from each half, leaving the peel intact. Prepare the gelatin according to the package directions, then pour it into the peel halves, adding fruit pieces if desired.

2. Set the halves into ramekins or a muffin tin to keep them from tipping and carefully place them in the refrigerator. Let the gelatin set according to the package directions.

3. Once they're ready, remove the orange halves from the refrigerator, cut them into wedges, and serve.
Tip: For a colorful twist, try using other citrus fruits and gelatin flavors, such as grapefruit, lemon, and lime.

via: http://jas.familyfun.go.com/recipefinder/display?id=50510

Leprechaun Hat for Chips

Now this is just a cute idea! You'll get to make this together and then enjoy it together!
So fun! How many of you go beyond the wearing of green clothing for Saint Patricks Day? I am curious, so let me know!


Leprechaun Hat for Chips
Difficulty: Average

Average User Rating:

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A fun table decoration that can be used to hold chips. We found our green tortilla chips at our local grocery store. You can use regular tortilla chips and then tint your dip with green food color. Whatever you do, have fun!


What you'll need:
1/2 gallon Round ice cream container, clean and dry (you do not need the lid)
2 or 3 sheets of Green construction paper
1 sheet of Yellow or Gray construction paper
1 sheet of Black construction paper
Scissors
Ruler
Pen
Double stick tape
Large circular object (however wide the construction paper is)



How to make it:
Trace around the large circular object on the green construction paper with the pen.
Cut out the circle.
Use the double stick tape to adhere the circle to the bottom of the ice cream container.
Cut a piece of green construction paper to fit around the container. You may need two pieces of construction paper or be able to piece them together.
Use the double stick tape to adhere the construction paper around the container.
Cut a strip about 2" wide out of the black construction paper.
Cut a 4" square out of the gray or yellow construction paper.
Cut a rectangle in the middle of the gray construction paper about 1 1/4" x 2". Discard the little piece of construction paper. Hint: Fold the square into fourths and cut a square out of the middle of the folded area. Open up the square.
Check positioning of the black band by laying it around the hat about an inch above the brim. Cut off any excess construction paper where it meets in the back.
Lay the gray or yellow (buckle) over the black band as shown in the photograph. Once the layout is satisfactory, tape in place.
Add green tortilla chips, if available, and get ready for your feast.



Tips:
Our local Hy-Vee store sells green tortilla chips around St. Patrick's Day.

via: http://crafts.kaboose.com/stpathat2.html

HOW TO TALK TO CHILDREN ABOUT DEATH

Now here is a great article that I found when I was looking for inspiration on how to talk to my son about death.
He is starting to put together Family Relations and who is whom's Mother, Father, Sister...
I lost my Mother many Years ago and that is now becoming a very interresting subject for my son.
I know this article is very long, but it is absolutely worth reading it!
I hope it is of help to some of you!




HOW TO TALK TO CHILDREN ABOUT DEATH

Death is often a very difficult subject for parents to discuss with their children. It is natural for parents to want to protect their children from the pain and sadness that is associated with the topic of death. Many parents don't want to bring up such an unhappy subject with their children unless they absolutely have to. Unfortunately, a time will come when children must face the loss of a loved one. It is at this time that parents must provide caring, support, and answers to the many questions their children will have.

Many parents simply don't know how to explain death to their children. Finding the right words and the right answers to all of the questions children have about death is not an easy task for any parent.

Instead of waiting until a tragedy occurs to talk about death, it is a good idea for parents to discuss death with their children before it hits close to home. Parents can use examples in nature like falling leaves, a funeral procession, or a dead bird to bring up and discuss the subject of death. Such discussions will help children get used to the idea that death happens before a tragedy occurs.

When a Death Occurs
Discussing Death with Children

*Warn children of grave illnesses. If a family member or close friend is seriously ill, parents should discuss it with their children before death occurs. Then, if a death does occur, children will be prepared and the event will not be a complete surprise. Also, when there is a serious illness in the family, children can often sense that something unusual is taking place. The atmosphere of sadness in the home can be very frightening for children. It is, therefore, very important for parents to explain to their children what is going on and why they are sad and acting differently.

*Talk to children soon after a death occurs. It may be tempting to put off telling children about the death of a loved one simply to save them from sadness, but children must go through the grieving process just as adults must. The sooner children are informed the sooner they can begin to deal with the loss. Speaking with children quickly also ensures that parents will be the ones discussing the death with their children, instead of someone else.

*Define "dead" in clear and simple terms. Parents should explain to their children what dead means. They should make sure their children know that the dead person won't be able to do any of the things he or she once did, like walk, talk, or breathe.

*Avoid casual explanations. Telling children that someone died because he was sick may lead them to believe that they themselves will also die when they are sick. It is very important, too, that parents not equate death with going to sleep. Telling children that "Grandma went to sleep and will not wake up" or something similar will likely cause children to be afraid to go to sleep for fear that they will never wake up. Adults understand expressions like "passed away" and "gone to heaven," but these are very confusing expressions for children. For the most part, religious explanations are very confusing to children. DO use words like "dead," "stopped working," and "wore out." These are simple words that help establish the fact that the body is biologically dead.

*Fit the explanation to the children. Parents should consider their children's level of development and what they already know about death before talking to their children about death. Parents should put their explanations into words that their children can understand and they should keep it simple. Parents should tell their children the facts and let them know they're available to answer any questions. Children's understanding about death depends on their level of development:

>Two to six year olds. Children between the ages of two and six usually do not understand the finality of death. To them, death is something temporary or reversible. Many children this age may appear unaffected by the death of a loved one. This may be because they actually believe that the deceased person will return. Some children in this age range may take responsibility for death. They may believe that they did something to cause the death. It's important for parents to ask questions to determine feelings of responsibility and then to provide reassurance.

>Six to nine year olds. Around the age of six most children begin to understand that death is a final thing; though this understanding is not complete. For example, children this age may see death as something that only happens to old people or to other people. Children may not be able to accept the fact that death happens to everyone.

>Nine to twelve year olds. Some children in this age group may still take responsibility for the death of someone else. Understanding is increasing, and children in this age range can probably handle most of the information given to an adult. Parents should remember, though, that children under stress will often regress. Therefore, some children may not be able to handle all of the details.

>Teens. By the time children reach the teenage years, they probably understand death and its finality as well as an adult. They usually realize the finality and irreversibility of death. Even though they have this understanding, they still need lots of support from parents and loved ones.

*Be honest. Even children as young as three can sense when something is going on in their household. They can also sense when someone is not telling them the whole truth. If children have been given an inadequate explanation and sense a cover up, they'll figure that they're dealing with something scary and unknown. They may even create a wild fantasy about what is happening that is much worse than the facts. Attempts by parents to avoid telling their children about a death usually backfire.

*Encourage questions. Parents should let their children know that they will try to answer any questions that their children may have and will answer them honestly. Parents should also let their children know that they're available to answer any questions that might come up later.

Supporting Children

*Include the children. When someone close to the family dies, each member of the family is affected. Often, children are left out of the support network of relatives, neighbors, and friends. It is not a good idea to send children away to stay with a neighbor or friend at such a sad time. It is at such a time that children need the comfort and stability of their families and familiar surroundings. Parents should allow their children to grieve with the family and those who care about them instead of sending them away to grieve alone.

*Try not to alter the daily routine. Parents should try to keep life going in as normal a way as possible. They should try to maintain rules, and consistent mealtimes and bedtimes. Disruption of daily routines can be very upsetting to children, and it is thus best for parents to try to maintain some normalcy in the household at this difficult time. The more stable daily life remains for children, the easier things will be for them.

*Allow children to grieve in their own way. Mourning is the most natural response to death, and children need to mourn just as adults do. Parents should not attempt to prevent their children from feeling sad over the loss of a loved one. Instead, they should be reassuring and supporting towards their children. Sometimes children's reactions to death don't meet their parents' expectations. Some won't cry or show sorrow. Others will ask what seem to be inappropriate questions. No two children grieve in the same way. Parents should, therefore, not expect their children to grieve in a certain way. It is not a good idea to insist that children display sorrow, or, on the other hand, that they act brave and dry their tears. Instead parents should encourage their children to express their feelings, whatever they are.

*Don't hide your own grief. Parents who are sad and grieving because of a death should not hide these feelings from their children. Instead, they should let their children know why they are sad, and they should reassure their children that they are not the cause of the sadness. Parents should not, on the other hand, turn to their children for emotional support. Children must be allowed to grieve without feeling responsible for supporting grieving parents.

*Reassure. When children confront death for the first time, they may be concerned about their own death. It is very important at such a time for parents to stress to their children that though no one knows for sure when they will die, they will probably not die for a very, very long time. Children may at this time also be afraid of the death of their parents. Reassurance must be realistic, for parents also don't know for sure when they will die. Parents can let their children know that though no one knows for sure when they will die, they expect to be around for a long, long time.

Funerals

Attending the Funeral

Parents must decide whether or not their children should attend the funeral. There are several factors to consider when making such a decision. Things to consider are the age of the children, what the service will include, how emotional the service will be, and the children's relationship to the person who died. Many experts believe that children above the age of seven should decide for themselves whether or not to attend a funeral. The parents, then, should respect this decision. With children younger than this, parents must use their judgment, taking into account how much their children know about death and how well they knew the deceased.

If the deceased was in the immediate family, it is probably a good idea to allow children to attend the funeral. Such a ritual will provide children with the opportunity to express grief and to say good‑bye to the deceased. It will also allow them to see other people grieve over the loss of someone they care about.

Parents should consider how emotional the funeral will be before allowing their children to attend. It may be terrifying for children to witness extreme hysteria from the mourners, especially if they are family members.

If Children Attend

*Explain the rituals. If children do decide to attend the funeral, parents should explain just what will happen at the funeral home, church or synagogue, the cemetery, and at home. They should explain how people will act and what the children will see and hear. Parents who expect to cry and express sadness themselves should tell their children of this, too.

*Designate a caretaker. If parents cannot remain with their children at a funeral, a close relative or friend should be assigned the specific responsibility of sitting with and caring for them. This caretaker should be prepared to leave with the children if they find the service overwhelming. Very young children will probably not be able to sit still for an entire funeral service and should be allowed to go for a walk or to the bathroom with the caretaker.

If Not Attending

*Arrange for a caretaker. Parents should arrange for someone their children know and trust to baby‑sit while they are attending the funeral. One suggestion is to hire a familiar baby‑sitter. Another possibility is to allow the children to attend school or nursery school.

*Spend time with your children afterward. Parents should try to spend at least a few minutes cuddling and talking with their children after the funeral. At this sad time, children will need to know that their parents care about them.

Common Reactions to Grief

The stress that grief causes often results in behavior changes in children. Some common reactions to grief are:

*Negative behavior. It is not unusual for grieving children to become angry and to strike out at adults and friends. Many children have difficulty expressing their feelings when someone close to them dies, and they often resort to this kind of behavior.

*Increased activity. Many children become restless and overactive in response to grief.

*Dependency. Many children become clingy and over‑dependent on the adults around them as a way to cope with their sadness and grief.

*Regression. It is not uncommon for grieving children to return to behaviors previously given up. For example, children who have mastered toilet training may begin to wet during the night again. Or, children who have given up thumb‑sucking may pick up the habit again.

Children's reactions to grief are often misinterpreted by their parents. It is, therefore, very important for parents to become sensitive to the grief of their children. By doing so, parents will then be able to provide the support, comfort, information, and understanding that children need when faced with the death of a friend or loved one.

via: http://www.parenting-ed.org/html/html/death.htm

Center for Effective Parenting

Little Rock Center: (501) 364-7580

NW Arkansas Center: (479) 751-6166

www.parenting-ed.org